Monday, 30 April 2012

Office T-shirts...

Scotch & Water...

To all my “Young” (not forgotten) friends!!!
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship
and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says
'I'm on this cruise to celebrate
my 80th birthday and it's today.'
The bartender says
'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.
In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink
the woman to her right says
'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
The old woman says
'Thank you.
Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up' says the bartender
As she finishes that drink,
the man to her left says
'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says
'Thank you.
Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink,he says
'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The old woman replies
'Sonny, when you're my age,
you've learned how to hold your liquor...
Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.' 
Your friends compliment you
on your new alligator shoes
And you're barefoot!
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy ...
And your pacemaker opens the garage door!
You don't care where your spouse goes
... Just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down
by the doctor instead of by the police

 'OLD' IS WHEN.....
You are not sure these are jokes!
 Have a good day!
"Young at heart"
(slightly older in other places!)

New definition for S.O.S.

New definition for S.O.S.
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.
The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!'
and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb.

He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?
The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130
pilot came back on and said:  'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled.
'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back,
took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and
a cinnamon roll.'

When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem a good thing!
When you get older & smarter -
comfort & dull is not such a bad thing!
We older folks understand this one, it's called S.O.S.
Slower, Older and Smarter....

Have A Great Week Friends...

Happy Monday Friends...

Monday, 9 April 2012

Have A Great Week Friends...

Happy Family Day Friends...

In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.
Lao Tzu